Saturday, October 06, 2007
insensitive?
to you i may be just some retard
to you i may be of no significance at all
to you i'm some parasite
without initiative living off others
whilst complaining about everything else
to you i'm just the silly fool
the fool who doesnt study
and is insensitive
do you even bother about me?
did u ever?
if u have, den you would know
what kind of person i am
so what if i spout rubbish everyday?
its just for fun
so what if i'm never serious
do you really want to see me serious?
of all the things i've done for u
of all the things i said to u
not once
did i ever
had ill intentions for you
was i insensitive about you
even if i did, i was well aware
and treated it as a joke
if u didnt like it you could have told me
i would stop
but i heard no such cry
the only cries i heard
were those of stress
hopelessness and of help
and every time i would respond
i would be there
i would try my best to help you
i would try my best to cheer you on
so what am i to you really?
not even a friend?
just some insensitive ass?
you are the only true friend i can
honestly and proudly call
you know my secrets
you know my woes
but i dont know much about yours
to me your the only one i feel actually safe around
because i thought i knew you
i thought i could trust you
everytime you would glare at me
you would roll your eyes
that didnt bother me
cause i knew it was just my daily dose
of corny rubbish that i dished out
but maybe deep down inside
you just looked down upon me
maybe u just always had this image of me
that i was a useless bum
WOW nice blank space (:
i was never serious and always playful
that i cant study and couldnt make it far
maybe
i would never know
but to me
someone i friend, is a friend for life
friendship to me is utmost important in my life
my empty life
and now
i've been shattered by your merciless words
those words who throw out so recklessly
with so much conviction
with such an indifferent attitude
it all seemed true
it all seemed too clear
if u really think i'm that bad
if you really think i were that insensitive
wouldnt you have known long time ago?
and i can tell you
thats not me
perhaps you will never know the real me
because i feel you are no longer one
i can reveal myself to anymore
i hate this feeling
its not right
i am at fault i wont deny
but what did i do actually?
i mean just a simple complain
did it really deserve such harsh words?
did i really deserve?
okay so i'm a loser huh
i dont take studying seriously
i dont take things into my own hands
feeding off others
causing an inconvenience to others
i am really such a detestable person
i am parasite
if it were all true
den so it shall be
for i have really given up everything
i held dear
you people i trust
you i trust
no more
no superficial apologies can amend this wound
no cheap excuses can blow this away
if you really feel so
let me know
for least even if i were that bad
i could change for the better
but still
for you if you still dont know
a cry for you
for i am broken
by you
my only true friend i hold dear
spoke at : 2:38 AM