starting to realise...

2008-07-31T00:37:00.001+08:00

DISHWALLA "Angels Or Devils"

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

2008-07-09T23:03:00.003+08:00

i really need an avenue to release

release all this angst

release all this frustration

that i've been put under

at really really bad timings

especially AFTER

office hours

i need to declare this

and hold firm to this

1. WORK IS NOT MY MAIN PRIORITY

2. I HAVE A LIFE UNLIKE YOU

3. WHATEVER IS IN OFFICE STAYS IN OFFICE

4. I AM NOT A STRESS BALL FOR YOU

5. I HAVE EMOTIONS TOO

6. WHILE I HAVE TOLERANCE AND PATIENCE DON'T ABUSE IT

7. RESPECT IS TO BE EARNED NOT EXPECTED

8. YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME? ITS WAR THEN

9. I DON'T MIND DOING MORE WORK IF IT MAKES YOU BUSIER & PISSED

10. YES I AM VENGEFUL AND HATEFUL

11. SO WHAT

2008-06-23T00:52:00.002+08:00

my pity extends to the kind of hearts

my interest lies in the wicked of hearts

push not the wicked you say

least they bite you

i say

push not the kind

least you create an evil

you can never subdue

remember a smile is more dangerous

than a gnarling glare from bloodshot eyes

for it is the very smile of the kind

that hides the daggers of hate

for it is the gnarling glare of the wicked

that hides the pains of grievance

they say keep the wicked in checked

i say leave them to be

they will sink into their depths of misery

soon enough

but let me remind you

check the wicked you may

never let the kind stray from your eyes

for its always the smiling minions

that bite from behind

that betray their masters

that lead to their deaths

the wicked lure and tempt

thou sane minded knows well

thou sane minded tend to forget

about the kind

the weak

the poor

the powerless

for nothing is absolute

and nothing is ever as it seems

push not the kind

but the wicked

or thou shall savour

the venom of the kind heart

the poison stronger

than any weapon known to man

which has already begun to leak

into your very veins right now...

my pity extends to the kind of hearts

my interest lies in the wicked of hearts

2008-06-03T00:28:00.004+08:00

my gp teacher just left

for backpacking trip

to europe!

i totally support

the notion of backpacking

thumbs up from me

its fun and unrestricted

that got me quite in the mood

for planning something big

i was thinking

in 2010, i ORD in Jan

from Jan till Aug

loads of time to go tour

BEST CHANCE!

only issue is with who

haha

and where lol

2008-05-26T00:11:00.002+08:00

i've been thinking

of signing up for the basic theory test

and stuff the whole process

den the thought of getting

my own car popped up

hmmmmmm

i've did a little research

of my own basically

and it seems that if i want

performance

style

value for money

all in one

and YET not get a toyota

the only option i have is

Mitsubishi Lancer EX

lol believe it or not

its seriously good money

1.5 Auto Sports going for 65k

i know its kinda low on the CC

but hey its a starter car

the 2.0 GT sports is going at 77k

thats CHEAP too!

so den i thought abt when

i can actually get my own car

hmmmmm

taking up the 10yrs loan thingy

each month i would have to pay

600 to 1000 depending

on which car...

but i guess hmmm?

maybe when i'm 25?

i'll be probably driving

my dad's accord until then

haha

dream dream dream lol

2008-05-01T14:46:00.000+08:00

have you ever had a blister

within an old blister?

well if you want one

join the kendo club today

:D

lol

2008-04-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

lol i just wanna post something

haha

2008-04-30T22:24:00.002+08:00

red with angst

blue and moody

green with envy

yellow in disgust

white and empty

black and dark

purple and ... yuck?

what the pink?

2008-04-30T22:01:00.002+08:00

my life has took a turn

and its at a low point again

things aint going smoothly

be it at office

or at training

or at home

or my health

or with friends

you know i keep telling myself

i want to come out of this period

a stronger person

someone more matured

more in sync with reality

the truth

but den again its just so

so fucked up.

simply put to be honest

i'm really really

just very jealous

very envious

and very angry

its like why is it so unfair?

i've been trying so hard

yet i dont yield the results

why is it that others

can achieve things so easily?

with such effortless grace?

shit!

its frustrating

i'm sorry but i cant help it

it just boils up inside.

seems like my naive idea

of cherishing every friendship

my stupid silly mindset

now i see

really

somethings

some people

one just has to let go

forget it

why dwell?

why brood?

just heck it

it doesnt even deserve

2¢ worth of shit.

2008-03-31T01:44:00.002+08:00

i just realised

i've been questioned twice

what i got for my GP

due to my apparent

poor spoken language

well i guess i've really slipped

away from my usual form

and my brain activity is just

shall i say

degenerating

perhaps i shld start

the mundane and troublesome

chore of reading up

to some what stimulate my brain

before i turn into a blob of meat and fat

T____T

zzz

the brain drain

2008-03-29T01:42:00.001+08:00

how can i be happy?

when can i be happy?

will i ever be happy?

i guess i can know what this

simple emotion really is

this happiness

that i never will have

2008-03-10T22:27:00.002+08:00

i've got 2 years to sit this out

its just like a hand of 2 Aces and 3 weenies

what a lousy hand seriously

i've really got to play my cards right

its one of those big life gambles for me

again...

i'll waste so many years

to reaffirm myself in society

is it really all worth it?

all those years more of studying

why are we simply just so tied down

by those dead books

by those dead requirements

by those rules set by people who are already dead

how far would i go?

how many times will i defeat myself

how many times will i triumph over myself

how many times will sit down frowning

how many times will i sigh with dismay

i cant even imagine...

i've been reduced to studying

some FASS course... its gonna be 3 long yrs

just to get back on track

would i really still want to continue

to study more again?

would i be able to support myself

pay the bills and tuition fees

simply put

can i survive in a place as unforgiving

as this place...

do i belong some where else?

where am i anyway...

2008-03-03T22:28:00.001+08:00

X-Japan - Voiceless Screaming

I'm drowning in sadness
Falling far behind
I feel there is just no way out
Is there anyone there? Where am I?

Insanity and loneliness
Tear my painful heart
Broken heart keeps on going to beat
But it never stops bleeding

I've been waiting for love to come
Someone who wants to touch me inside
Memories of my yesterdays

Careless words and deeds
Masquerade of love
Gotta find my way outta here

I was blinded by dark desire
Over time I've been through it all
I'm crying my share of tears

What can I do
Will I make it through
I must be true to myself

Voiceless Screaming
Calling to me inside of my heart
Voiceless Screaming
Now is the time I got to speak out

Voice of faith, I'm starting to realize
Now my eyes can see
I have gone so far
I'm feeling breath of life

And I'm looking for love to reach
Someone I want to touch deep inside
Light shines on my sight of doubt
Don't be afraid
Move forward one step
Willing mind is what I have found at last

Voiceless Screaming
Calling to me inside of my heart
Voiceless Screaming
Now is the time I got to speak out

Voiceless Screaming
Calling to me inside of my heart
Knockin' on my soul's door
I believe in myself and trust what I do

Voiceless Screaming
Pain of the past still hurts me inside
Knockin' on my soul's door
I climb the stairs that lead me to Heaven

super insane song high key totally

but its really a very nice song

2008-03-02T02:34:00.004+08:00

its time for poems again i guess

haha in the mood for figurative imagination

Painful Facade

as the rumbling train moves along

i rest my head on its walls

swaying and jerking as it would

my eyes sunken and bloodshot

staring blankly across the carriage

but deep within thoughts i am

thinking of how you'd fall asleep

with one hand by your face

where you would be smiling

as if in a sweet escape

from this cruel long day

how that peaceful you

would just make my day

how it made me smile without

even knowing it at all

and after awhile

you would suddenly awake

as if something nasty had startled you

and you'd give that silly look

on your face which was rosy

from resting on your palm

your hair would fall over your eyes

and suddenly just like that

you would look around

with that mysterious look

oh how i never understood you

how fascinating u were to me

and when you saw me

from within that cloak

you raise your hand and sweep

your hair back to reveal

that cheeky smile of yours

but yet my heart weeps

its in agony

its suffering

its being suffocated

i could feel this unthinkable pain

this overwhelming feeling

i don't even remember if i had

or could even breathe

i tear only on the inside

because all of my tears

have long been dried and wasted

on you my dear friend

the time you became a stranger

to live each day without you

was empty and miserable

how i yearn to see you

but yet each day

when i glimpse of you in the room

as i would hear your voice

sorrow from within doesnt subside

it gushes out like water

from a broken dam

my only comfort was that

you kept on smiling

but when times you didnt

i wondered if you who were down

were feeling as bad as i did

for it pains me more than anything

to see your face carry that emotionless

that dishearten look

but it all has to come to an end

for i know its too late

even though you might never know

how i told myself to forget

to move on without you

to exclude myself from you

to reside in my own pains

but what is this i'm doing now?

the train stops and as i head out

i know i'm just being a fool

my inner consciousness laugh

at how pitiful i am

how i torture myself

how i lose control of myself

as i continue to walk ahead

despite my logic telling me to stop

my heart wont stop beating

and as i alas stop

so did my heart

but when you came over

all i did was smile

but on the inside i was crumbling down

i'm being eaten from the inside

but what could i do

to numb this pain

but to play this sadist game

on myself

to carry this mask of mine

a mask that smiles

one that hides my weeping face

what is left of me

is a masked person

devoid of emotion

with a streak of tears

flowing from my hollowed eyes

2008-02-24T11:48:00.002+08:00

i am who i am

dont go about asking me change

for no damn good reason

do you have a problem wif me

being different?

not your average conformist?

why should i be restricted

well i'm sorry i cant be

who you want me to be

but end of the day

all i have to say is

people who treat me well

i'll treat them even better

people who treat me like shit

i'll treat you like shit too

(: idiot...

2008-02-10T02:03:00.000+08:00

this is the short version of the song

the longer video cut from sweeney todd movie version

the lyrics are below (:

For the Love of Life - David Sylvian

And slowly, you come to realize
It's all as it should be
You can only do so much

If you're game enough
You could place your trust in me

For the love of life
There's a trade off
We could lose it all
But we'll go down fighting

And what of the children?
Surely they can't be blamed for our mistakes?

And slowly I've come to realize
It's all as it should be

That hiding space
A lonely place

How can the right thing be so wrong?
I've found mistakes
Where they don't belong

For the love of life
We'll defeat this
They may tear us down
But we'll go down fighting

Won't we?

FYI:
this beautiful song was featured in Sweeney Todd the movie

as well as the ending theme for the anime Monster

2008-02-10T01:14:00.000+08:00

la vérité n'est pas vraiment aussi douloureux, je jure

alas i've found out

and so thats what all this is abt

so thats why all the words

that were never spoken

could only be sadly written

in my eyes

as i look at you

before.

i was too trusting?

i'm easily fooled

i'm easily broken

its saddening

this irony of life

you did what you felt

best to protect

to avoid

but yet on the other

end of it all

what was left in the void

the one devoid of your words

your friendship

the misunderstanding

that absence of translation

that wall around you

and i

did not serve its purpose right

it bore not noble arms

around those it surround

it held talons and spears

which each pierced through me

it seems i never knew

it seems neither did you

but for all that was done

i was on the wrong side of your wall

for now i see a crack

i see the light peering through

so inviting it is

as it had always been

now then

would you please

break down this frozen wall

this accursed barrier

could we turn back the time?

would you allow me to...

i dont want to lose

anymore friends

before i lose myself

2008-02-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

well enought of strange poems and wadever

jargon i've been spouting hahaa lol

no one will really understand anyway

oh wells its gonna be new yr soon

and so time ticks away

but well this next 2 yrs

regardless of what it might

install for me

i do hope i would be able to

aptly make use of this time

to not only ponder abt my future

but also to better myself

well thats all i hope

for the problems?

well we'll just leave them out

for the moment

let them dissolve on their own

if they dont

so be it

dont really have much capacity

to bother nor to care

i was wanting to ask you

to talk to you

when you get back

but den again i think

maybe i shldnt probe

maybe i shld just let it be

for i know only too well

it would hurt

it wouldnt be nice

you might even not tell me

the whole truth

but i still really wanna know

stubborn dumb nut huh me

oh wells

we'll see when the time comes

ns life has been crazy and fun

it aint boring but it sure is

stressful

lol

2008-02-06T21:31:00.000+08:00

on peut seulement faire tellement

sometimes in life

the things we want

are just not meant to be

but instead best

left at a distance

best left as it is

sometimes

there really isnt the need

to complicate things

any further than it

already is

besides

everything has its place

has its plan

so why disturb it?

just let it be

smile and cherish what

is before our eyes

things will be

in time they'll come

settling in even before

you know it youself

2008-01-25T22:09:00.000+08:00

those eyes carries me

into another realm

a realm of mystery

drawn i am with much haste

as all the sounds around

fade away in an instant

all the lights seem to fall

fall just on your face

as they glimmer in your eyes

those lights flash around you

your every feature

brought to life in bold

for that short glimpse

you enveloped me in awe

i stood before you

standing helplessly drawn

as you took over me

with just that one

that one hypnotic glimpse

but as all sanity

was just about to slip away

you raise your hand

and place your finger

gently on your lips

in a sweet caress

and whispers

h u s h

and i closed my eyes

in silent consent

and my mind was free

free of worries

free of thoughts

my body was free of burdens

free of weight

free of gravity

and in that i found my escape

my secret escape in you

but as fate you tease

so would you

slowly the sounds echo once more

the realism of touch is regained

the consciousness awaken

as i open my eyes

all i saw was you

your image slowly fading away

before my very eyes

fading as you bid good night

with your little hush tonight

i smile in silent resolve

and return to my peace

2008-01-21T22:27:00.000+08:00

b'lood tainted lips

as i watch myself

defeated by sorrow yet again

i pause to sigh

even though i know

its but a futile attempt

to console myself

this emptiness that i know so well

has grown even more foreign

not only has my wings been plucked

my soul has been locked away

my mind is bound by chains

without any right or freedom to think

my voice is unheard

muffled and lost

my life is no longer mine

its been robbed of me

but at least i know

deep down

soon that day will come

when these accursed chains

that bound me so tightly now

will all but erode away one day

as my wings recover

my mind is set a free once more

to be lost in indulgence

of my secret worlds

that being said

all have these bindings

have only led me to realise

how precious somethings are to me

and also how have missed my chances

how i've passed them off in my silly dismay

but i know to the very least

even if these eyes lose their light

and become dark and hazy

even if my soul is drained of everything

i would know that this emptiness

is all but a guise

covering what's really inside me

just waiting to pour out to you

only to you

even if my lips are tainted with blood

as my last beat goes off

every ounce of me would conjure

everything for you

if only you would let me

let me be saved by you

i've lived too many regrets

i aint gonna let it happen to me again

not any more

these wounds don't any more salt

if only fate would just stop rubbing...

2008-01-20T02:45:00.000+08:00

PAOLO NUTINI - NEW SHOES

Woke up cold one Tuesday,
I'm looking tired and feeling quite sick,
I felt like there was something missing in my day to day life,
So I quickly opened the wardrobe,
Pulled out some jeans and a T-Shirt that seemed clean,
Topped it off with a pair of old shoes,
That were ripped around the seams,
And I thought these shoes just don't suit me.

[CHORUS:]
Hey, I put some new shoes on,
And suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
It so inviting,
Oh, short on money,
But long on time,
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
And I'm running late,
And I don't need an excuse,
'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes.

Woke up late one Thursday,
And I'm seeing stars as I'm rubbing my eyes,
And I felt like there were two days missing,
As I focused all the time,
And I made my way to the kitchen,
But I had to stop from the shock of what I found,
A room full of all my friends dancing round and round,
And I thought hello new shoes,
Bye bye them blues.

[CHORUS]

Take me wandering through these streets,
Where bright lights and angels meet,
Stone to stone they take me on,
I'm walking to the break of dawn. [x2]

[CHORUS (x2)]

Take me wandering through these streets

2008-01-07T03:03:00.000+08:00

at last

i've completed my

black rose heart design

finally... its ready to be

painted onto a shirt

watch out!

i'll be wearing it SOON!

and finally i can test myself

in this new field of art

and art where u wear what you are

u shout not with your voice

but with your work

it doesnt matter if people dun get it

as long as you do

its all that matters

i've pulled off my 3 am miracle

Thank God.

dive in the depths of the night

lost in this feeling of extension

as i'm carried into another realm

another place in my head

where music words thoughts and art linger

where i find my solace

my solace in art

2008-01-06T04:49:00.000+08:00

mood's kinda heavy these days

sent off benny to london for studies

everyone seems to be leaving

one way or another

but i do hope she's gonna do well

(:

but a blast of a time at the airport though

got to meet up my dear juniors

those bunch of jokers

haha

and yesh

after so many hours of wow

swimming

going out and all

without sleep

i'm down

haha

flu-ish i guess

will be okay in a day or two

2008-01-05T14:27:00.000+08:00

its been decided

i seriously wanna get you two

forever out of my life

just keep causing me more

and more trouble

ha but perhaps its just

me who likes to torture

myself over and over

but seriously lets end it

i'll erase you 2 from my memories

be friends?

not any more

its hate now

so long now

who are u huh

u and ur fake condescending

tone of yours

i dont know u anymore

2007-12-22T20:01:00.000+08:00

lol i found some really nice pictures of eyes

yup eyes (:

fyi if u dunno

i like eyes heh

they're simply the most mysterious

they do not speak

but yet they're loud

they do not think

but they make you think

just by looking at one's eyes

a lot can be told

anw really respect this artist

and her work (:

praise Tetty

escape
(note the hand in her iris)

look at me
(lol quite sick but invoking)

stolen tear
(just way cool)

my soul is burning

lets draw (:
(my personal fav)

2007-12-22T19:58:00.000+08:00

don't ya just love them? (:

=3 meow

2007-11-21T15:28:00.001+08:00

people who indulge in smoking

are quite crudely and simply put

one bunch of fucking retards

one bunch of fools

and especially the ladies

and especially those ladies who smoke menthol

those lady lights with menthol

i tell u it STINKS

its worse then the normal smoke

its DAMN INTOXICATING

u stupid people

wasting your lives on sticks

letting those shit things control your life

guys, drop the facade

u aint any more macho den ur nuts can prove it

ladies, think about it

u spend $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

on ur stupid make up to cover up ur wrinkles

but what are u doing?

smoking...

adding to those horrid lines

wtf no logic rite?

smoking keeps u slim u say?

oh hell yes

it burns away everything in you

of course u'll be slim

u'll be a bag of bones

waiting to be buried

u dumb fools...

stop ur foolish acts

if you wanna commit slow suicide

at least dont pull others along with you

with your irresponsible 2nd hand smoke

it stinks

bad

and u stink too

really bad

inside

2007-11-21T15:26:00.000+08:00

THE CLICK FIVE - MARY JANE

I didn't cry the day you moved away
I didn't think that I could feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you
Whatever happened to our innocence
and the somethin' that you said about being friends
tell me how
help me say the words out loud

could it be
that nothings gonna change
cause time has got a way of taking back
everything you thought you had
can you see
the girl you used to be
the one I lost when I let go of you
oh whatever happened to
mary jane
ooh ooh
ooh ooh

I need to wake up from this state of mind
the situation is the same kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head
would you catch me if I had to fall
would you even find the time for that at all
tell me how
help me say the words out loud

could it be
that nothings gonna change
time has got a way of taking back
everything you thought you had
can you see
the girl you used to be
the one I lost when I let go of you
oh whatever happened to
mary jane
ooh ooh
ooh ooh

cause time has taken back
everything I thought we had

Mary Jane..

could it be
nothings gonna change
cause time has got a way of taking back
everything you thought you had
can you see
the girl you used to be
the one I lost when I let go of you
oh whatever happened to
mary jane
ooh ooh
oh whatever happened to
ooh ooh
mary jane...

2007-11-10T16:01:00.000+08:00

it is time for a major makeover of my life

gotta get loads of things in my life changed

and accomplished after the dumb A's

and before the NS... T____T

too much to do with too little time

always the case in life huh?

anw gotta renovate the place

refurbish loads of stuff and get new stuff

from IKEA!! IKEA!!! OMG lol

haha

after A's everyday's gonna be just...

1. swimming

2. soccer

3. WoW

4. ANIME!!

5. throwing away stuff

6. buying new stuff lol

7. clubbbbbbinnn

yup

basically thats abt it

pretty much a lot lol

but i also wanna pick up kendo

at the singapore kendo association

which is rather conveniently near my place

haha

and its just wayyyy toooo cooll can haha

always wanted to learn kendo ((:

mushashi style!

somemore i left handed

wah must train extra hard

and try and advance to the 2 sword level

got many many levels la... 1st dan 2nd dan etc...

bahhh... wonder if have time during NS

my NS also 9 to 5... hmmm

see how heard from my fren

need to pass thru interview den can join

o.O

please inform me if you have nice lobangs

quick jobs u can offer? haha

yup yup i need more money

to buy new stuff oh lol haha

2007-11-09T12:53:00.000+08:00

i dun have much i have to say

just that i really really really really

need to proclaim this...

okay here it goes...

I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM
I HATE CHEM I HATE CHEM

okay... lol

2007-10-17T01:34:00.000+08:00

i've yet to engage myself

in intensive studying

ISM as steffi calls it

(PS: happy belated bday steffi lol)

but i've made some small and steady

progress so far and its keeping me

motivated and going

though odds are high and stuff

just try la wad to do

cant help it anyway rite now

lifes just like that just do what we can

(:

hopefully...

this last 13 days i can pull of a miracle

lol you never know huh haha

anw just received the NS enlistment thingy

i'm due Jan 14 2008 to go tekong

lol the tekong boy

haha anw its pretty early enlistment

but i'm fine with it

haha cos i'm only required to attend

a 5 day camp at tekong

and its back to sunny singapore (:

hoho

sexy man haha

anw just some self realization for awhile

realized despite my playful and wild character

i've kinda matured and grown this past yr

perhaps its just the reality hitting me

too hard

arhhhh

seriously got too many plans after A's

and too little time

hopefully all goes well

(:

still in doubts abt wad course

i shld take in uni...

and also dunno if i eligible not lol

oh wells all i know

is that after A levels

its gonna be period of my life

where there isnt gonna be studying

and there is gonna be hell loads of fun

and finally can get to go clubbin again

get some personal life back yeah

also really need to get back in shape

and do the stuff i always wanted to do

(:

anw that day i was having this strange dream

i dreamt that i would go to another JC

and live JC life all over again

like go back in time sial

think i was in the jc wif grey uni

cough cough

but dreams will be dreams

but it was a kinda interesting dream

like u know i realised

like how a different environment

can matter so much

haha

if only can like those movies

go be a spy in JC

relive the JC life haha

but by the time i'm out of NS

alamak alr too old to pull it off

haha

2007-10-06T02:38:00.001+08:00

insensitive?

to you i may be just some retard

to you i may be of no significance at all

to you i'm some parasite

without initiative living off others

whilst complaining about everything else

to you i'm just the silly fool

the fool who doesnt study

and is insensitive

do you even bother about me?

did u ever?

if u have, den you would know

what kind of person i am

so what if i spout rubbish everyday?

its just for fun

so what if i'm never serious

do you really want to see me serious?

of all the things i've done for u

of all the things i said to u

not once

did i ever

had ill intentions for you

was i insensitive about you

even if i did, i was well aware

and treated it as a joke

if u didnt like it you could have told me

i would stop

but i heard no such cry

the only cries i heard

were those of stress

hopelessness and of help

and every time i would respond

i would be there

i would try my best to help you

i would try my best to cheer you on

so what am i to you really?

not even a friend?

just some insensitive ass?

you are the only true friend i can

honestly and proudly call

you know my secrets

you know my woes

but i dont know much about yours

to me your the only one i feel actually safe around

because i thought i knew you

i thought i could trust you

everytime you would glare at me

you would roll your eyes

that didnt bother me

cause i knew it was just my daily dose

of corny rubbish that i dished out

but maybe deep down inside

you just looked down upon me

maybe u just always had this image of me

that i was a useless bum
WOW nice blank space (:
i was never serious and always playful

that i cant study and couldnt make it far

maybe

i would never know

but to me

someone i friend, is a friend for life

friendship to me is utmost important in my life

my empty life

and now

i've been shattered by your merciless words

those words who throw out so recklessly

with so much conviction

with such an indifferent attitude

it all seemed true

it all seemed too clear

if u really think i'm that bad

if you really think i were that insensitive

wouldnt you have known long time ago?

and i can tell you

thats not me

perhaps you will never know the real me

because i feel you are no longer one

i can reveal myself to anymore

i hate this feeling

its not right

i am at fault i wont deny

but what did i do actually?

i mean just a simple complain

did it really deserve such harsh words?

did i really deserve?

okay so i'm a loser huh

i dont take studying seriously

i dont take things into my own hands

feeding off others

causing an inconvenience to others

i am really such a detestable person

i am parasite

if it were all true

den so it shall be

for i have really given up everything

i held dear

you people i trust

you i trust

no more

no superficial apologies can amend this wound

no cheap excuses can blow this away

if you really feel so

let me know

for least even if i were that bad

i could change for the better

but still

for you if you still dont know

a cry for you

for i am broken

by you

my only true friend i hold dear

2007-10-06T02:33:00.000+08:00

my life is cursed

my life is burdened

really shouldnt let anyone

be entangled in this messed up life

of mine and this dammit lousy mess

everyday hurtful words are exchanged

everyday there is no peace

everyday someone will be angry

everyday someone will lie in hate

someone will sigh with despair

someone will be struck with problems after problems

someone would be accused

someone would be tormented

this is just a cursed life

a lousy life

a one messed up since the start

2007-09-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

okay it is confirm

a fact

my prelims are screwed

sure fail

and no

this is not defeatist nor

pessimists attitude

NO

it is being PRACTICAL

and evaluative of how deep

am i into this pile of shit

lol

hopefully

my balls will be scared STIFF FROZEN

by the time after prelims i see my shit results

hopefully...

well if that still cant scare me in to frenzy mode

den i can safely assume my future is

kinda fucked... lol

its just desperation

and irritation i guess?

i wanna study

but its like the shit they test in the exam

if way too advanced for me even if i studied

and besides those are like the special

tricky kinda question u would have to dig

up from the legendary RJ or HC past exam papers etc

which is just retarded

dunno

at the end of the day its A levels

i dunno wads the standard gonna be

but hope i can get something decent

i would be lying if i told u i'm not aiming high

but being practical

i doubt getting straight As is something

i can get this time around

its just damn hard

maybe i'll get some strange

great improvement award

like from many Us to many Bs or something

lol dunno

WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO HARD DAMMIT?!

arghhh >___<

struggling with Us and Ss

which is just not supposed to be

wtf

= (

2007-09-04T08:21:00.000+08:00

Good Charlotte - Break Apart Her Heart

When you call she doesn't answer
when you write she doesn't answer
You go out you see him with her
she told you she was sick at home
The ring you gave her thrown away
with all the letters
And when you see him with her
he doesn't even care at all

As she follows him around like you follow her around
And he doesn't even care and your figuring out
The only way your gonna keep somebody around
Well I'm about to let you know

There's something I don't wanna understand
The only way a woman is gonna want a man
The only way you'll ever keep her in your hands
Is breaking apart her heart
Don't tell her she is the reason that you live
Don't give her everything that you got to give
If you want to keep the girl for as long as you live
Just break it apart her heart

Can't you see the way she's crying
Well that's what keeps her trying
she knew that she could have you
And he don't give her what she wants
There's truth about this
you say you want to be noticed
Well if you want to be noticed
you gotta learn to break some hearts
Don't try to understand

There's something I don't wanna understand
The only way a woman is gonna want a man

The only way you'll ever keep her in your hands
Is breaking apart her heart
Don't tell her she is the reason that you live
Don't give her everything that you got to give
If you want to keep the girl for as long as you live
Just break it apart her heart

Can't you see what you've done?
What I've become, what I've become
Can't you see? Can't you see?

I don't understand this cruelty
I don't understand but now I see

There's something I don't wanna understand
The only way a woman is gonna want a man
The only way you'll ever keep her in your hands
Is breaking apart her heart
Don't tell her she is the reason that you live
Don't give her everything that you got to give
If you want to keep the girl for as long as you live
Just break it apart her heart

I don't understand this cruelty
I don't understand... its just not me
I don't understand this cruelty
But now I see...

2007-08-29T22:24:00.000+08:00

I AM GONNA DEVOUR CAMPBELL & REECE

YES THAT 1231 page CRAZY BIOLOGY TEXT

INTENSIVE MUGGING OF BIOLOGY

SERIOUSLY DAMN FED UP

NOW REALLY MUST NO NONSENSE ALREADY

NO PAIN NO GAIN

PAIN IS JOY

ARGHHH!

RARRHH!!!

BEHOLD THE MUGGER

@____@

LOL

2007-08-26T20:44:00.000+08:00

ha.. every time i do something like this

i'll remember His teachings about not looking back

the outcome of Lot's wife

seems to be ingrained deep in my head

but still i cant help but turn back, look and

taste the bittersweet sour or wadever it is

photographs just photographs they can mean so much

well at least you're doing well and fine

well its no longer time for fun and games

prelims starting TMR! LOL

i shld just shoot my procrastinating self

like now

and obviously i know now really isnt the time

for this kinda things to affect me

to distract me from it all

but Man is unwise

Man is foolish

Man is silly

Man is...

2007-08-18T01:46:00.001+08:00

this is serious

i really really really

cannot study at home

for many many various reasons

one, there are just too many distractions

two, there are just too many noisy pple

three, daily needs and hassle just disrupt me

four, i need help, someone i can discuss with

five, i need someone to bug me to stay focus

lol man does this suck or wad haha

9 days left

and i have no freaking idea where to start

wad to do or plan or wad so ever

all i can be certain is

i cant do well

shit

too late for regrets now

2007-08-18T01:42:00.000+08:00

Good Charlotte - Something Else

She is a diamond
I am a stone
I come from nowhere,
She's been to Rome
Her dad is a lawyer,
And mine's not around
She has good manners
I'm rough all around

But you could come from something;
You could come from nothing
You could be a princess;
You could be a working man
But in the end...

We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something we can't have
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something strange to us
Maybe a roll in the dirt, maybe a seat in first class:
We all want something we can't have.

She wants to go to restaurants
In Beverly Hills and people stare
But I don't care
It's just what she grew up around.
She drags me along to parties
Where people ask me where I went to college;
She knows damn well I barely finished school.
She knows a lot about
Yearly salaries and trust funds and dividends;
She knows that I don't really care at all
But we got together, and we're doing ok

But you could come from something;
You could come from nothing
You could be a princess;
You could be a working man
But in the end...

We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something we can't have
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something strange to us
Maybe a roll in the dirt, maybe a seat in first class:
We all want something we can't have.

Well you can spend your whole life
Looking for something,
Something that might be
Right in front of your eyes,
But you'll be looking
For something else you'll never find

We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something we can't have
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something strange to us
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something we can't have
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something strange to us
Maybe a roll in the dirt, maybe a seat in first class:
We all want something we can't have.

2007-08-11T23:26:00.000+08:00

I can’t breathe

I’m being smothered

by something I can’t quite put my finger on

in spite of knowing that the prelims and ultimately

the big A's are drawing quickly as with each day

passing so aimlessly and unproductively

i am still procrastinating

i can well say that this blog entry is proof of that

i know, but i aint doing anything o.O hmmm

theres so many things i wanna do

but there just so many restrictions

binding me down from my freedom

one of those shackles is time

anyway this really is the time to mature up

i have no direction in life

i dunno wad i'm gonna do next time

job prospects? i dunno

20 years down

what will i become?

will i still be as useless as i am today?

always not achieving anything

always alone and broken?

20 years down will i look back in regret?

all this burden and pressure all packed into this few months

crucial time i must say

for if i screw up my A's

its pretty much the hard life the hard way

from then on

with news reports that even straight As students cant get a

place in university for whatever reason

prospects of me getting anywhere is... i dunno

its just scary

education in all of its noble cause

has been reduced in my eye

as a tool to buy u a chance in life

buy u a right to choose in life

money making tool perhaps?

knowledge waste after we leave college and start working

is so unbelievable i kinda makes me wonder

why are we even learning this anyway

but since life here is so

one can only just accept it

well since i'm not rich kid

i dont have the mobility money can buy

i cant be sponsored to study abroad

i cant migrate to live the laid back life we all want

i'm losing faith

no wonder money corrupts

cos even though we dont need it technically

it is a necessity to lead a happy enjoyable life

a life with choices

a life with freedom

what have we all become...

being toyed about by fate, life and money

i refuse to bow to such restrictions

i refuse

i dun give a fuck anymore

it seems apparent

my life is in my hands

is this a fear?

a fear of reality?

a fear of being poor?

a fear of being incapable?

whatever it is

seems like the only way is to live life

strive to live the life i want

that will be my goal

i must get it

2007-08-02T02:06:00.000+08:00

lol kinda in the bankai mode now

its just so ridiculous can haha

i've got 25 days to make a miracle.

oh boyy...

i've got no time to play except

to play with no time.

2007-07-30T23:43:00.000+08:00

in spite of how much i hate chem

and maths

I HAVE TO BLOODY EAT SLEEP BREATH SHIT CHEM AND MATHS

LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT

actually it does lol

my future

ZOMG can

so annoyed with all this

i can take chem tutorials

time seems to stop during that 1 hr

and its like i have to face kuku neh neh

wah lao eh...

i also never do her work T___T sianz

well at least i can say

i got some drive now

and started somewhat revising

need a miracle like so totally

2007-07-29T23:12:00.000+08:00

 Fr o u   F r o u  -  L e t  G o

Drink up any doubt.
Mmm, are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind,
'Cuz it's all going off without you.
'Scuze me, too busy,
You're writing your tragedy.
These mishaps, your bubble wrap, when,
You've no idea what you're like...

(So let go)
So let go
Mmm, jump in
Oh well whatcha waiting for?
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty
In the breakdown.
(So let go)
Yeah, let go
Just get in
Oh it's so amazing here.
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty
In the breakdown.

It gains the more it gives,
And then it rises with the fall.
So hand me that remote.
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?
Such boundless, pleasure,
We've no time for later now, you,
Can't await, your own arrival you've,
Twenty seconds to comply.

(So let go)
So let go
Jump in
Oh well whatcha waiting for?
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty
In the breakdown.
(So let go)
Yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here.
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty
In the breakdown.

So let go
Mmm, jump in
Oh well whatcha waiting for?
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty
In the breakdown.
(So let go)
Yeah let go
Just get in
Oh it's so amazing here.
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty
In the breakdown.

In the breakdown....
'Cuz there's beauty in the breakdown.
The breakdown....
So amazing here....
'Cuz there's beauty in the breakdown...

2007-07-29T01:40:00.000+08:00

just watched dreamcatcher on chn 5

pretty intriguing show haha (:

but den i realised it has got

absolutely no connection at all

to the mysterious Indian dreamcatcher

hmmmm?

but oh well its still nice either way

maybe i shld get one too huh?

catch all those bad stuff that's on course

towards messing up my life

lol

its just more irritating tys...

its just nonsense can some of the questions

anw hope u reading this would go study soon

or you'll be in the same plight as me

poor me

2007-07-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

oh no

july 24th

11.38pm

my heart felt a sudden

and arresting pain

hmmmm

heart attack? lol cant be

dunno but its just

oh well probably a sign

that my lifestyle has taken its toll

on my body

the song's back in my head

if tomorrow never comes...

haha

2007-07-24T21:26:00.000+08:00

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

In Detail

Friends are the family you have chosen for yourself, which means that you can also un-choose them. If you are having troubles with one of your friendships right now, be honest with yourself about the relationship. Are they making your life more enjoyable or more complicated?
Do they encourage you to be the best you can be or make you doubt your actions?
Do they celebrate your successes or try to one-up you all the time?
Answer these questions, and you'll know what to do.

somehow i find this scarily true lol

2007-07-24T16:20:00.000+08:00

jealousy + envy

oh am i seeing green

those 2 little feelings have set my

thoughts running just absolutely wild

beyond my control and i'm stuck in my own trap

i find it rather amusing and yet pity myself

well who knows maybe it just end

friends are the family i have choosen

which is very true

but yet this family of mine has hurt me

more den it has gave me warmth

so maybe i shld just leave some of them behind

out of my life

and delude myself in loneliness

yeah i shld do that

i know i've changed since j1

but who cares

no one

too many things going on rite know

for me to have time to even sort out myself

so i shld just leave everything behind

and become an emotionless

a heartless

a lifeless

robot

2007-07-23T01:27:00.000+08:00

okay i've finally changed my blog template

and oh nope i didnt design this haha

i really like this template cos its

just plain and classic

and childish (:

heh

i'm

like just so

totally jaded and lifeless

these couple of days has been really

unbearable lousy moody and totally just no direction

i am out of focus out of my place and i dont like it one bit at all

just did a gp essay entitled in spite of more information

man is none the wiser at that point of time it was

so difficult for me to pen down my points

clearly cause it was so obvious that

man is not wise and is foolish

but why? why are we so

cause its just human

nature to be

simply so

foolish

2007-07-22T13:30:00.000+08:00

the fire within me has been extinguished

the passion within me has be nullified

the love within me has be removed

the life within me has be drained

after all i'm the only one fooling myself and others

everything has came to a silent mourning

a mourning which no one knows of

a funeral which no one cares

a goodbye without words

to cry without tears

to yearn to see you

it hurts to see you

its just different

everything is

goodbye

you

2007-07-22T01:17:00.000+08:00

rapture was absolutely

FANTABULOUS

period.

If tomorrow never comes...

2007-07-19T23:37:00.000+08:00

Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And a thought crosses my mind
If I never wake in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
She must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
She must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

i've always loved this song, its just so beautiful and yet sad

haha, sometimes i wonder as i listen to this song

wad if tomorrow really isnt fated to come

at the back of my mind

deep in my heart

i've got so much

so say to

you

2007-07-15T14:57:00.000+08:00

i often find it very interesting

how one fears loneliness

yearns for someone to love

and to be loved

but yet

sometimes

its just better

being all alone

quiet in a corner to be left

alone again

maybe its just me

i just cant find a peace with myself

and with the world around me

while all the dreams and illusions

fade away and come clear

the truth piercing through the dreamy haze

the reality colliding face on faster than anything else

its just so sudden

its just so saddening

i think that she knows

but den again she was the one

that was confusing me

i shld have seriously known better

but it seems like its all over

there is no point

after all the drama mama in council

after all the sweat tears blood and hardwork

its finally over

the curtains are drawn

the lights have dimmed

the music fades

the badges taken off

the blazers hang lonely in a corner

the photographs of them

everything that i cherished

and yet gave me so much trouble

is now over

its bittersweet

cant really put myself to accept it

but its the fact

even though i can admit

i didnt really study much during the break

but at least i tried

and i've done those idiotic tys

i DID my work

but den it just seems so strange

it almost seems unfair

even though i knew i wasnt gonna do well

when i looked at my papers

when i looked at my work and my grades

it makes me really wonder

how come

why

its isnt right

i've done my work

i've put in effort

but yet nothings yield

instead i got worse

its just so frustrating

i really dunno where is the problem now

i can do it the questions

i can do the tutorials

i can

i could

and now i cant

fuck it man

2007-07-15T14:53:00.001+08:00

okayyy...

i'm sick of my ruined and dead blog

shall leave it as a black noob template for the time being

while i go think of some new design to make it into

hopefully it'll be good (:

for now its just this plain black skin

2007-03-17T21:16:00.000+08:00

Impossible is just a big word thrown away by small men,
who find it easier to live in a world they have been given,
Than to explore the power they have to change it.
Impossible is not a fact. It is an opinion.
Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare.
Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary.
Impossible is nothing.

- Adidas

thanks lynne for showing this to me (:

really gave me a smile

and some drive

haha

2007-03-17T10:28:00.000+08:00

i've laughed and fooled

my life away since J1.

this time its serious,

i really dont know anything,

its really scary.

really.

MSP seems to be just waiting,

looming there to smack me

right in the face,

to wake me the silly fool up.

with just 2 more days till BT1

i've realised what i should do

just not sure if its already

too late.

2007-03-11T20:44:00.000+08:00

lol coughing like crazy

lungs hurt quite bad

gosh

why am i so weak

always falling sick

you ask

haha

cos i'm always not getting

enough rest

but should be okay now

got something to

look forward to once more

in life

lol

dumb bio spa tmr

and i'm expecting a crazy

match against band on tuesday

gosh!

we're like arsenal man!

so many pple injured! LOL

2007-02-24T17:01:00.000+08:00

its time for me to change

to get focused

and set priorities

first things first

studies

its omfg in deep trouble

currently my life should and

will gonna be revolving around:

1. losing weight

2. training for napfa

3. bucking up on studies

4. saving up for loads of stuff

gotta screw all unimportant shit

in school and whatever

why do all good things

come to an end?

ever since year 2 started

i've wasted my time

wasted my life

been worried and emo

over friendship

life in school

council

myself

fed up of hiding already

cos i have no idea

why things have become like dat

its pissing me off

and making me sad

ever since 2007 started

i dunno what happened to tiffany n me

we're drifted apart

we dont talk no more

i always see her tired and everything

worried for my dear friend

but she seems to close up

her worries from me

not sure why or what happened

while somethings are best left

personal

and i might be just thinking too much and all

but i dunno it just doesnt seem to me

to be all the same like last year

everyone knows it

everyone sense it

nurul and jowy have also drifted

cant explain why also

our gang aint as close

everyone's filled with so much

trouble and shit

we've all changed and closed down

thought i understood you guys

but now i dont anymore

it hurts to lose friends

in such a stupid way

without reasons

bah

i myself have became an absolute

idiot

skipping lessons like fuck

seriously

been emo and lousy

all this while

sick and everything

confused blur disturbed

sometimes committing social suicide

dammit

i dont wanna leave SAJC

after 2 years

and look back

and laugh and cry abt

how i wasted 2 years

lost friendships

wasted time in council

destroyed myself

and ruin my future

2007-02-17T15:06:00.000+08:00

went kboxing with the guys after CNY celebrations

ashwin, jordan, malcolm, alvin, loi, juan, yishu n myself

lol

we went klunch

pretty much just to see yishu's concert

haha

ended up everyone sang their idiotic heads off and did real silly shit

lol

it was like zhao xia heaven

ashwin was attempting to sing chinese songs until he resorted to his antics

whole damn time was just damn funny

lunch was great too

at least i blew my head clear of sorrows for that day

really tired after that haha

after which was a good dinner back home

anw they say i've made a wrong move

honestly i dun care

yeah i'm an idiot rite?

but oh well least i've made my point

and its now time to move on

i dun lose anything

or at least i hope

2007-02-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

after it all

it took a day to realise

a day to feel the pain

perhaps i was still high

after doing so many

crazy silly things

i have created nothing but

more awkwardness than

there was already to start

with in the first place

questions asked but

none really answered

know i shldnt care so much

but the words people say

just simply tear my up

was i wrong

where have i done wrong?

i know its silly to do

such things and all

especially on valentines

but is it a sin

i may ask?

if you too also

have been through this

very phase you condemn

me of being so

really dont know what

i shld do now

of course i know its

impossible

but

still only fools try

but isnt more foolish not to?

think i'll just run away

from reality

once more

hide from this all

sorry to have disturbed

you

but i just cant help it

not even sure if these words

will ever reach you

but it does

i just wanna let you know

i wish of nothing

but for you to be

fine and happy (:

cos i know myself

and wasnt expecting

anything actually

ha

i'm so lost in myself and

all of this

i really dont know what

to do seriously

perhaps maybe

you

would wanna tell me

please?

2007-02-10T14:31:00.000+08:00

looking on the brighter side of life

life is beautiful

everything is

it isnt just about school and work

its about Life and God.

keeping my mind off it

embracing something new

oh dear little sunflower

i shall cherish your beauty

and nuture you (:

just bought myself this small little sunflower

its awaiting its bloom

so am i

hoho (:

happy happy today

2007-02-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

silly o me (:

shall be more hiong

more fearless

less emo

more decisive

cant keep being a hermit living in self doubt n fear

damn

lol

i dun care if i make a fool out of myself

at least i can tell my grandkids next time

ur old pops did some hiong shit when he was young

LOL

screwed man i'm an old man at heart HAHA

ROFL

wish me luck (:

2007-01-31T22:17:00.000+08:00

just hours before

i read something i should never have

lol

i pity myself

trying so hard to believe

to not be affected

but yet still

i'm my greatest enemy

everything i do in my interest

always back fires at myself

silly me

i should stop

gorge out my heart

and forget everything

fuck and screw it all seriously

damn it

2007-01-24T21:20:00.000+08:00

lets waste time

chasing cars

around our head

i need your grace...

----------------------

days have been long

empty

making my heart ache

cant really explain what is going on

stupid things just pisses me off

starting to become a loner in class

and finding both escape and troubles in council

what a crappy situation

starting to like to be alone

but yet again i hate it

i fear loneliness

wtf

there is this invisible barrier

this barrier that is stopping me

i think i'm turning into a paranoid depressed child

i foresee i will regret in the future

that i've messed up now

gosh

i shld be slapped

really hard

someone give me a reality check

lol

shall live dangerously

live crazy

live hiong

live it all out

and die young

as i always have

but now more.

2007-01-24T21:17:00.000+08:00

music fills my soul

the bass keeps me ticking

the vibes make me alive

those lyrics ring through my mind

the beat seduces me to move

i so need to club

urgent

2007-01-20T22:26:00.000+08:00

alrite peeps

art club is back in business again!

haha

to think i was the only member left last year

to what now is a 20 strong club with fresh blood from juniors (:

lol

first session!

we did our own ART CLUB tshirt!

hoho

hand printed silk screen shirts

love it man

made a black one this time, but cant really see the print

shall make a white one next week :D

2007-01-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

cant think straight no more

someone please slap me

tell me the truth

tell me whats really going on

think i'm just killing myself

with my wandering mind

before anything even happens

2007-01-17T21:25:00.000+08:00

now i truly understand why the 28th council last year

they all sat together on 2 tables during grad nite

at that time

i was wondering

why didnt they want to sit with their other friends?

classmates?

why still council all the way?

now i understand.

its a very depressing thought and a sad truth.

though it can also be viewed in a good way.

but its just life.

jc passes way too fast

too fast for people like us to grab hold onto

onto enough time that we need

needed to foster friendships

friendships that i cherish

its no longer me being paranoid

paranoia and realization are just too close

i look on in pain

with every word like daggers through my soul

with every word that patches me up

with every subtle thing you do it shatters me

with every sense of coldness i'm broken

some say the deadliest things are those of the unspoken

though you never said anything

i already know its a situation i cant salvage

i cant save my health

i cant save a friendship

i'm lost

bent and broken

dead in the heart.

2007-01-14T11:19:00.000+08:00

strangers...

might as well...

distance...

plagued...

illness...

empty...

tomorrow?

useless...

2007-01-02T21:44:00.000+08:00

cant get this song out of my head

super addictive and nice to sing too... haha

its also the death note 2 movie ending theme lol!

just what i need, a good nice song to make drown over my worries and woes...

haha

------------------------------

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Snow (Hey Oh)

Come to decide that the things that I tried

Were in my life just to get high on

When I sit alone come get a little known


But I need more than myself this time

Step from the road to the sea to the sky

And I do believe what we rely on


When I lay it on

Come get to play it on

All my life to sacrifice



Hey oh listen what I say oh

I got your

Hey oh (now) listen what I say oh



When will I know that i really can't go

To the well one more time to decide on



When it's killing me

When will I really see

All that I need to look inside



Come to believe that I better not leave

Before I get my chance to ride



When it's killing me

What do I really need

All that I need to look inside



Hey oh listen what I say oh

Come back and

Hey oh look at what I say oh



The more I see the less I know

The more I like to let it go... hey oh whoa


Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder

Where it's so white as snow


Privately divided by a world so undecided

And there's nowhere to go


In between the cover of another perfect wonder

And it's so white as snow


Running through a field where all my tracks will

Be concealed and there is nowhere to go


When to descend to amend for friend

All the channels that have broken down


Now you bring it up

I'm gonna ring it up

Just to hear you sing it out


Step from the road to the sea to the sky

And I do believe what we rely on


When I lay it on

Come get to play it on

All my life to sacrifice


Hey oh listen what I say oh

I got your

Hey oh listen what I say oh


The more I see the less I know

The more I like to let it go... hey oh whoa


Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder

Where it's so white as snow


Privately divided by a world so undecided

And there's nowhere to go


In between the cover of another perfect wonder

Where it's so white as snow


Running through the field where all my tracks will

Be concealed and there is nowhere to go


I said hey yeah

Oh yeah

Tell my love now


Hey yeah

Oh yeah

Tell my love now


Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder

Where it's so white as snow


Privately divided by a world so undecided

And there's nowhere to go


Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder

Where it's so white as snow


Running through the field where all my tracks will

Be concealed and there's nowhere to go


I said hey oh yeah

Oh yeah

Tell my love now



Hey yeah

Oh yeah

2007-01-01T00:09:00.000+08:00

happy new year.

what would 2007 be?

well hopefully a crazy, hiong, and wonderful year ahead for all of us.

resolutions for 2007? nah...

goals for 2007? i've got a few...

- catch up on lost time on my studies

- shape up!

- new hair style?

- get gold for napfa LOL freaking NS needs this... zzz

- hopefully make mugging something more frequent lol

- ultimately do like damn well for a levels haha

- more friends! (:

2006-12-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

omg omg omg need to seriously watch Death Note 2 ASAP!!!!

arghhhh no time!!!

past few days has been such a crazy few days for me

26th

went to ms lee's hse to celebrate xmas n boxing day! LOL

haha her hse ah, i tell u damn siao can... situated in some freaking ulu place... and ironically
the street there is called ulu pandan =__= HAHA

ms lee's hse is really really really very homely the feel.

apart from pharmacy looking kitchen, everything else was a nice warm feel.

talked a lot and all played bridge and indian poker HAHA DAMN FUNNY

kept saboh-ing iven to call hannah and do stupid things hahahaha

after a crazy long nite at ms lee's hse... the few of us min jordan iven n myself went over geri's hse to stay overnite! HAHA

ZOOM ZOOM! (:

played more bridge and mahjong! woooh!

and even watched Jurassic Park! LOL zoom's fav! HAHAHA

bunked in at 5, 6am or so and barely slept for an hour... haha before it was time to go sch for orientation dry run again... x_X bah!

27th

thanks to geri's dad we got a quick lift to sch dat morning! yay! :D THANKS ZOOM!

anw something damn funny happened

geri was saying skali later on the way to sch meet bs along the road

and guess wad?

when we reached sch... stopped at the front gate security guard there

stopped behind us, was another car, and out came bs! LOL DAMN ZHUN SIA

freaky

oh well spent the day doing stupid sai kang

tested out games and stuff

ended up the most fun game was the mentor's game which was a wet game

damn fun

jordan had his thrill shots, of which he had never felt so good haha even better den winning 4D or ToTo sia! LOL

while me i was on a super soaker renegade HAHA (: heh

after that it went pretty mundane again lol

everyone resorted to playing bridge in the sc

haha

damn sorry i was really myself at that time, was abit emo, tired and pissed.

anw yup after the long day was over

the gang went over to the good o macs after dinner for another late nite MAC tc sessions

man it was good

(:

some how when i'm at home, i dun feel like going out

but when i'm out, i dun feel like going home, would rather, if can, bunk at someone's place...

haha

seriously need to plan more stay overs (: fun fun

hiong hiong heh!

2006-12-25T00:45:00.000+08:00

smiled while watching love actually on chn 5

smiled when i got all those msgs

smiled while sending all those msgs too

smiled cause of you all

smile for me (:

MERRY CHRITSMAS PPLE!

LOVE U ALL :D

2006-12-22T23:33:00.000+08:00

its been awfully cold.

even you.

to me.

i think.

miss talking to you.

hope it'll be fine.

by sch reopen.

and i'm just a paranoid child.

i hope.

2006-12-21T08:25:00.000+08:00

havent slept a wink for 2 days now.

been thinking a lot.

god knows what and why.

turning crazy and lost.

its pouring like crazy.

makes one think if the world is really gonna end.

floods n rain in asia.

snow storms and blizzards in the west.

ice caps melting.

wtf.

oh well.

live it up den.

dunno where this path is leading me.

walk it i shall nevertheless.

aint got any choice anyway.

damn.

2006-12-21T01:43:00.000+08:00

Take The Quiz Yourself!

2006-12-18T13:27:00.000+08:00

its been raining for the past couple of days

haha

technically shld be snowing but oh well haha

anw song pic of the day, Radiohead - Creep

did consistent running too! gosh so gotta get Gold for this last napfa haha

if not 3 more months in tekong =___= wtf

got loads of stuff coming up in the last week of the holidays...

formal events, council dry runs, xmas celebrations, DEATH NOTE 2 wahahah!

to end off 06 wif a bang, and start 07 with another... hopes its gonna be so (:

haha

anw dunno if its juz me, but i've been having LOADS N LOADS of weird dreams and encounters at nite la...

lol damn funny, some are cool, some are amusing, some are juz plain wtf?

yesterdae, or rather this morning, i couldnt sleep so i juz look up at my room ceiling from my bed...

for like 5mins... den i started to notice this flare of light at the corner of my eye

shocked i turned to that direction, it was gone... thinkin i was probably juz too sleepy

i juz ignored it

awhile later it came up again, and its MOVING

FREAKING MOVING!

i was like WTF WTF WTF????

so i juz stayed still and observed this light flare

as strange as it may seem...

its some optical illusion, my eye is juz too tired and zoning out, dats why it loses focus of the white ceiling, juz so happen my left eye loses focus faster den my right eye

and thus!

looks like theres a "light flare" at the corner of my eye

freaky la

ANW ended up i couldnt sleep cos i spent most of the day sleeping and watching anime

haha

so i was online n stuff , den suddenly this HUGE, and i mean HUGE FREAKING CICADA flew into my room!

WTF LOL

it juz keep kamakazing my room light =__=|||

seriously damn loud sia

lol its damn big almost palm size!

haha

guess it got attracted to my light lol

2006-12-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

ADIZERO KAHA + NIKE FREE 7.0

OMG FINALLY I HAVE NEW SHOES WEEEEEE

HOHO! (: (: (:

2006-12-12T22:45:00.000+08:00

never knew prata would one day become my enemy...

lol

on a fateful day... few days back...

early morning before grad nite debrief meeting in sch...

my folks brought me for breakfast at a place i so didnt want to go...

NUS prata shop...

ok so i ate prata... lol

den i bite onto something hard and i was like WTF? prata got bones? :O LOL no la... but yeah

den i see carefully... looks like some plastic thingy... white coloured one... very suspicious...

so i stopped eating and told the stall guy and got it changed for a new one...

the new prata was "clean" and i happily ate it lol stupid me

and when i went to sch... not long in the meeting i felt a bit weird... hmmm

at first i felt sleepy... logically i tot it was the meeting being so boring and all but i started to feel shivering cold...!!

mr chua help me turn off one air con haha so good lol

den after that i started like feeling hot! YIKES FEVER...

ask my fren to feel if i was hot, den she said yes... omg... >_<

really fever...

den 5mins later i cannot make it alr...

rushed out to toilet to puke... wtf

puked like 2 times... gosh was feeling all crappy and sick alr...

my eyes dunno why think vomit too hard den become all blood shot

my face was PALE LOL even though i'm kinda tann... shocking

felt like dying la... omg...

went home halfway through the meeting...

rested and all but still felt like shit

>_<

THANKS XX N MISTER MOOSE (:

but yup yeah... feeling much better now

haha...

omg no more prata for me for awhile hahaha

prataphobia rofl! xD

2006-12-09T19:09:00.000+08:00

just forget the words.

(:

2006-12-08T20:55:00.000+08:00

LOL

last day at IBN was FAR FROM NORMAL

reached my work place all gong gong and blur as usual

haha

went into the student area and tried to do some last minute modifications to my presentation

and jus realised how unprepared and screwed i am... haha

some how know nuts abt my project suddenly haha

wtf totally in the lol gonna die mode

haha

finally got things all fixed like just minutes before the presentation started

after which my in-built crap talking system jus kicked in. PHEW!

wonder how much i can rely on this haha pretty handy (:

the previous presenters before more, some were like confi idiots, others were so nervous i could their their veins poppin and hands shaking... gosh

anw after dat long ordeal

i was stopped by the FRIENDLY BRIAN!

"could we do more filming of u?"

lol and i was like SHIT oh nuuu....

alrite cos the big idea was everyone all student attachment pple had to do this short interview for this YRP video to be shown to promote JC peeps to come for attachment la

den some how...

i've just became like the host?!

like LOL??? WTF?

yup

tagged along wif charmaine, from RJ

haha nice sweet girl (:

yup

so we're like kinda the duo hosts kinda thing u always see on TV

haha

oh well

technical difficulties and NGs

oh gosh... first is science work, and now acting? LOL

wad a life huh!

lol so amusing

anw it was really spastic and retarded

cos i was supposed to act as this confi cocky ass hole who thinks he knows everything but doesnt haha

while charmaine is supposed this blur blur one hahaa

NOT FAIR CAN

so blur blur less lines den the cocky ass hole! i had like a whole chuck of script la

zzzzzz

anw it was kinda fun and all

damn cooled

oh man

malu-ed if this video is gonna be like airred in ALL JCs or something

den its holy GG

lol

IBN, haha

institute of bloody nonsense xD oops! haha

or otherwise known as institute of bioengineering and nanotechnology

bye there (:

2006-12-08T20:51:00.000+08:00

one week

piecing back

everyone is right but me

wq, xx, lynn, pw...

shld be ok soon

i hope

lol

who am i kidding

it aint nothing

i'm just the old silly foolish confused me

yup

bye now

aint as easy as its said, hell true.

acl clubbing music, my relief

thanks

2006-12-08T00:26:00.000+08:00

my love n joy for the past few months

5th dec sealed the deal man.

antic cafe

2006-12-08T00:03:00.000+08:00

seems like i'm my greatest enemy...

i'm a sadist to myself

i know it would be painful, it would be sad

but still i plunge straight into it...

at first it was all okay

den those words just turned my nite sour and bitter

i know it would be like dat, but still the silly fool me decided to be hurt

by myself

i dunno wads wrong wif me

i shld just forget it

i cant be friends with you no more

i'll just go insane if i'm still close to you

or even seeing you makes me feel all lost and sad

wad am i talking

i really dunno

shit

oh well

at least, you all are happy

at least you are happy

i think

wq is so right, i'm a silly fool... yup

2006-12-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

this is gettin damn serious

i cant stop thinkin abt u

i cant stop feelin dat ache

the more i try to talk to you

the more i feel like giving up

the more i see you

it just feels more terrible each time

i dunno wad this is... totally confused

u say you fell for him, you like him

those words tore me up

the more i want to be nice and smile

images of all this crumbling shattered me

fear

this friendship is dear to me

foolishness of me can just destroy it

into an awkward silence

shit

this is bad.

all these problems, frens, council, all this crap

i need to take 5

stop time

n cherish n dwell in those happy days

2006-12-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

i love the frens i have in council

all the stupid sai kang we do together

all those days and nites

all the long hours of agony n shit crap together

those talk cock sessions late into the nite after a long day's work

the bonding wif brothers

the smiles

the spastic laughters

the jokers

the corny lame jokes

the classics

omg

ended off orientation dry run todae

wif a continued 2nd chapter of talk cock session at MACs

haha late into the nite... talk and laugh and joked all sorts of shit till like 9 plus 10

omg totally rocks

love this kinda stuff (:

haha and the few of us got really fascinated by all these lil cute thingy

u noe the $1 tong tong machine? (:

haha yup

we're crazy, hardly sane, and totally bored :P

its juz another nice day (:

to u all, please smile n laugh, it really warms not only mine, but everyone else's hearts

seriously

make their day (:

and in turn ur day will be good n worth while

or at the least, better off and escape from all those emo shit problems we all have huh?

lols

2006-12-03T00:51:00.000+08:00

OMG THURSDAY NEVER EXPECTED MY DAY TO START OFF SO SO SO SO INSANELY FANTASTIC

morning i came arnd the same time to IBN, came out for breakfast and noticed something new!

haha a new cafe has sprang up right beside my best fren - 7 eleven

HAHA

so i went over to this cafe... hmmm spectical of the food n its prices

but they seemed pretty reasonable and looks good (:

no one was there either good stuff

so i looked arnd and saw the waitress...

haha ordered up an espresso n toast

OMG

i tell u this waitress, blew me away

super steady! HAHA

candy to the eyes i tell u

>_<

xD

haha

being all immature n boyish

her voice sounded so cute n she was dat type of funky funky one

haha served up my order n smiled and all

omg damn high haha

wad a way to start a lazy rainy morning HAHA

tell u unbelievable okies

i'm juz being well all flirty n fun being single (: bio bio

haha oh wells its juz eye candying haha

OH GOSH SO THE DAY STARTED WIF A BLAST

CAFFEINE RUSH + EC RUSH

hahahaa

anw dat really made my day and hyped me up totally

I WAS ON A ROLL IN THE LAB

PERFECTED ALL MY EXPERIMENT RESULTS

in record times! titration used to take hours, i did it in 30mins!

PERFECT SOME MORE

anw after that almost perfect day and all (:

hee...

went for lunch (:

CHICKEN RICE DAMN NICE :D

YUM

AFTER work, YUP AFTER (: haha

i decided to reward myself

hopped over to SIM LIM to get myself new in ear earphones! (:

haha u noe those 69.90 plus bucks pro shit?

haha guess mine how much? :D

guess guess lol

uber cheap xD

2006-12-03T00:44:00.000+08:00

YET ANOTHER DAY AT ATTACHMENT?

WHAT DID I DO U ASK? HAHA

:D

OMG THE EMPTIED THE IBN POOL!!!! OH NUUUU!

EMPTY?!?! CRAPS! WHY SO NICE POOL THE EMPTY IT?!

the internal lighting n pumps

horrible 9 floor straight drop to the ground below! yikes!

anw it seems like i'm taking notice of everything else but my actual job

haha

my fascination wif the endless pool has been shattered one morning as i was having my breakfast at my usual corner when i realised its empty!

shocked!

wonder why the emptied the pool! and still very long haven "refill" back

OH LOL

okies shit my vocab sucks pardon me.

2006-12-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

LIBERATION

haha okies kinda late update but i've been very busy and lazy these couple of days...

so gonna leave my blog inactive only till weekends, and i finally understood why pple juz post pics on their blog... now i also lazy to type, juz feel like posting pics lol

haha

alrite

26th NOV

dat anticipated day of VIP clubbin

haha

turned out MOS had no queue despite the fact we reached there at 9plus and even took our time to go there haha

alrite went over to tiffany's house to meet her n charlene (:

quite a poor turn up though, but dats good haha

strange but for parties, all u need is JUST ENOUGH pple, room to dance n good music and its perfect

over crowded parties like surge is horrible... body to body packed... typical la

but prefer it when u can ACTUALLY DANCE ABIT YO! lol

raine calls it bouncing arnd HAHA

anw after liberation, bunked over at tiffany's n straight off in 2 hours to work...

damn the attachment... haha

2006-11-24T00:21:00.000+08:00

hmmm maybe i shld have like a photography appreciation of biopolis!

HAHA

check this out!

panaroma cam shot from my k700i! amazing stuff though my phone lao ya HAHA

damn shiok la...

i always stone at the window... look at the clouds and the buildings... see the CBD... see orchard...

haha yes can see orchard!

lol

some how strangely...

at biopolis... it always rain one... at specific timings... lol

anw check this out...

can u guess wad this is?

hmmmm....

looks shiney....

hmmmmm looks bluee???

well its an ENDLESS POOL! LOL

IN BIOPOLIS!!!??? HAHAA

like so random can!

freaky la

cos biopolis on this hill

so its quite high up u noe!

omg... if u go over the EDGE... its damn w00tz

look at the edge... scary sia...

btw this is the warning sign by the ENDLESS POOL!

HAHA DAMN FUNNY

WATCH UR STEP!

den they show this dude shaking by the edge! LOL

do not wade... like so wtf... haha the guy juz standing there LOL

haha attachment is fun huh? (:

lol i wish haha

TMR GOT HALF DAY OFF

but only to go back to sch to do council stuff

haha but better den nothing la

oh well (:

2006-11-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

MUNDANE I TELL U

somehow i think

if

IF

i ever become a researcher at astar...

I'll be the REBEL

LOL

i'm the only joker over there playing bridge n dai dee during attachment

HAHA

ever finding ways to slack

haha

alamak so not suited to this job n life

but still a learning experience

haha one of my life's goal is to TRY all the stupid spastic interesting crazy things life has to offer haha!

anw...

woke up late todae

btw got to IBN was like 9am alr

den i tot

hmmmm mentor haben come

so i went out from the fire escape route ROFLMAO
YES FIRE ESCAPE ROUTE

HOHO LOL

haha morning kicks... escaping CCTV n my mentor n the security guard LOL

down to first floor 7-eleven to have my breakfast

HAHA
YUP HOHO!

this is one of the few buildings in Biopolis!

think this one is Chromos!
i'm working at Nanos!

got meaning one...

cos mine IBN, nano tech, so in Nanos! haha

anw while i was jia jua-ing HAHA suddenly got this plane zoooommmm past den did some stunt sia turn turn den release white smoke hahaha

alamak but i stoning la

too tired le...

by the time i whipped out my phone

alr zoom back n only left smoke

but STILL i lively start n nice way to kick off a morning haha

chicken sandwich n root beer

weird combi but oh wad the hell haha

anw...

as usual

spent the dumb day

REPEATING THE WHOLE EXPERIMENT

cos cos cos... got stupid anomalous errors

sianz

stupid la

how to accurate make a 0.0000125 mol solution in 1 ml

crazy la

>__< style="font-weight: bold;">everydae count down to LUNCH! HOHO!

TODAE

WENT GHIM MOH HAWKER CENTRE! HEH

looked arnd the whole place

omg

loads of food options!

haha

BUT

saw this delicious

and cheap

JIANG CHONG JI DING RICE

HAHA $3 ONLY

amazing! some more its a lot la!

haha yummmmyyyyy

hmmm maybe doesnt look nice cos my phone cam kinda lousy la haha

haha my lab mates n i have mutually agreed, we shld go GHIM MOH more often

LOL

okies

today's results proved SUCCESSFUL! finally! haha

and also surprisingly interesting too!

haha Beer's Law some how got affect some how dun have

den at low concentrations also kinda messy haha

but oh well who cares all is well

HAHA

LIBERATION COMING

anw

after work

met up wif raine to see santino rice

at heeren

u noe Project Runway 2 winner santino rice?

u gotta noe him come on!

haha yo dats him

being all santino

haha

wheres andre?

HA

yup he went down to heeren to judge this local t-shirt competition yeah for fashion design la

nt bad

entries were quite... erm so so la

HAHA

alrite

yup dats glenn ong and him

on stage

HAHA SANTINO IS SUCH A WILD JOKER CAN

haha really didnt expect him to be like dat

haha he jokes like woah

and got of the contestants praise him say he handsome HAHA HE BLUSH SIA! LOL

cool stuff (:

hoho alrite

pretty much dats all for todae

more interesting stuff tmr! hoho

shall leave u all wif an interesting pic

TOP SECRET!

NOPE AINT GOT NOTHING TO DO WIF ME!

OPPPS!

HEH~!

hoho!

2006-11-22T00:14:00.000+08:00

HOHO

yet another day of attachment

basically cos got some kuku error, i had to redo the whole damn project

hmmm my mentor doesnt seem happy wif me

maybe i too slack le

sianz

dunno la

aiya anw

there is this rather interesting law... BEER's LAW

haha its cause of this law dat my experiment went wrong, cos concentration too high den the thingy will fluctuate too much

hahaa

my mentor say BEER's LAW is cannot drink n drive

ROFL

geeky jokes

not bad sia

lol

LUNCH TIME!

HAHAHAHA

HAD FISH n PASTA wif CREAMY SAUCE!

LOL

at first sia, i go to the shop den see 2 cheena pple... den i think...

eeehhh... cheena pple sell western food? hmmmm dunno if can trust not sia

but oh well was damn damn damn hungry so i juz buy la heck alr

TURN OUT TO BE DAMN NICE LA!

YUMMYYYYY must go there again!

rocks lei

the sauce hosay man

i give it 4/5 stars

good filling nice lunch

oiiissshiiiii

OK

haha after WORK

CHALET!

HAHA

BBQ ok la

HAHA PLAY BRIDGE N DAI DEE

DAMN SONG

win like wooooh!

haha xD

den go OCH

haha see see

dunno if got see nt

they say got

haha

dunno

den after dat now back home

lol sianz and stoning

OKIES

bye now (:

2006-11-19T01:48:00.000+08:00

Official started my attachment at A*Star IBN on 13th Nov!

will end on 8th Dec! ALAMAK! x_X missin out on so many activities! shit!

haha freak shit sia, have to report at 8.30am at Buona Vista! damn far from my place... the mrt journey there was more den irritable, long ride, squeezy, loads of inconsiderate pple, and also the tired zombified me...

anw when i arrived, the place was freakin deserted... no one in office at all... rofl... working world... starts ticking like pass 9 seriously... no wonder 9 to 5...

finally when it was arnd 9plus, everyone come alr... at first glance i see, omg... i knew i made a mistake... *slaps myself n goes into the wtf mode*

nerd galore! nerd paradise i tell u...

YES!

+N+E+R+D+

ohhh shittt~! come on man... shld seriously make dat my official *WTF MODE* song...

haha *cough cough* alrite, so now i was like being in the "three scary people" mode again... being highly anti social... haha and quiet and juz alone la basically...

dunno anyone there anw... cos u noe why?

I'M THE, yes THE ONLY SA GUY THERE! HAHA

its like Hi, i'm who who from RJ, RJ, .... RJ,... HC.... RJ.... HC.... HC.... RJ.... and den me SA... HAHA

oddball (:

alrite so they did some standard briefin and stuff...

showed 2 videos...

HOW U CAN KILL URSELF IN A LAB (:

and HOW U CAN SAVE URSELF IN A LAB!

apparently, i fell asleep for the 2nd video...

so yup... hmmmm xD hoho!

distillation of PHENOL! crazy freaks... juz go home la... really nothing better to do sia

alrite so i've been trio-ed off wif winston and gabriel!

haha 2 jokers

winston's from RJ, rugger! yikes! haha vengence! hoho

gabriel was previously from NJ, juz came out of NS, he some Astar scholar pro kia sia yikes!

anw its been a week of lab work...

and for my project is rather slow n boring... cos got a lot of long reactions dat are like overnite one... sianz

i had to water bath samples for 24hours! zzz

so i decided to help out winston's project since his one was slightly more active... haha also rather sianz cos got a lot of long titrations... each titration is abt 1 to 3hours... depending on wad reaction is it and wad pH or wad u wanna get....

i tell u ah... WTF MAN, getting a solution of EXACTLY pH 7.000 IS FUCKING DIFFICULT!

the 3 of us, lol threesome... LOL joke

okies cough cough, ya and yes the 3 of us, was suppose to make the solution from pH 2 something to pH 7.000

yes .000

den at first we tot aiya simple routine work, no big deal juz add add add NaOH only wad... simple...

first thing we add 5ul(microlitre) of NaOH, doesnt seem much... but.... the pH meter skyrocketed to pH 13 something~!!!

wtf...

only 5ul... crazy la... MICROLITRE LEI! 5 ONLY! dats like... 0.0005ml

wtf sia...

how freaking concentrated is the NaOH man...

ended up after neutralising all the NaOH added and back to pH 2, we added in gay amounts, 0.5ul... like wad the hell sia...

0.00005ml... so many zeroes... so small amt u noe... cant even really see if we got add or not its just a spurt from the micropipete... insane...

and my mentor say, this titration must be accurate and wad wad... shld take the whole day...

bloody hell... den cos we not experience, made silly mistakes here and there... and got a lot of technical problems also... sianz... we took 2 days wtf... =_=!!

yes 2 days

fuck.

finally... the fruits of our fucking labour... pH 7.000

*FAINTS*

we like shouted like mad nut cases when we finally got the damn pH to be at 7 la

bloody hell

seriously test of our patience!

damn.

haha LUNCH TIME :))))))

the first highlight of everyday for our attachment...

the second of course would be knockin off ! HAHA (:

tell u... food @ IBN is juz expensive until crazy... rippers sia

had to either go MOE cafe or walk to holland v to makan...

holland got loads of food actually la... many hawker n fast foods

haha

many 7 elevens

and SUBWAY

WAHAAAAAHAHAHAHA! LOL

but far but OH WELL

okies hmmm

hmmm if u peeps are interested in my project basically in a nut shell...

Fibrous Scaffolds for Tissue Engineering

Mentors/Team: Andrew Wan, Benjamin Tai, Kwong Joo Leck, Suzanne Kadereit, Bao Guo Hsieh, Shona Pek, Shujun Gao and Jackie Y. Ying

Tissue engineering requires the use of a structural framework to support the adhesion and growth of cells. In addition to acting as a structural template, scaffolds provide the opportunity for the presentation of biological molecules that regulate the proliferation and differentiation of cells into tissue structures. This is especially important in conjunction with the use of stem and progenitor cells. Most of the current processes for the production of tissue scaffolds are incompatible with the incorporation of biological molecules, specifically proteins, due to the severity of conditions involving the use of high temperatures and organic solvents. In this project, fibrous scaffolds are processed by interfacial polyelectrolyte complexation, which is inherently more suitable for the presentation of biologics due to the milder, aqueous-based synthesis. The characteristics of these fibrous scaffolds are optimized to capitalize on the activity of various biological factors with respect to tissue development.

okies...

haha finally weekend bREAK! TGIF! juz THANK GOD! OMG LOL

hahahaha

TENNIS TENNIS TENNIS!

HOHO DELIRIUS! LOL

2006-11-19T01:43:00.000+08:00

GRAD NITE IS COMING SOON!

HOHO!

5TH DEC!

J2's BETTER BE READY YO! (:

introducin' Grad Nite Comm '06

HOHO! (:

Jiayous peeps! loads of deadlines comin in these few days!

haha lol :P Grad Nite Comm rocks man! serious. (:

2006-11-08T00:23:00.000+08:00

okies FINALL PW IS OVER

wooohooo~!

I AM FREAKING SICK OF PW

FUCK PW

DAMN U IDIOTS WHO INVENTED IT

BLOODY NO LIFERS !

TO HELL WITH U!

*cough cough*

we must act demure pple :D

2006-11-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

LIBERATION @ MOS 26th NOV!

The inaugural Liberation Party, held this year at
the Ministry of Sound, presents raw and ecstatic
clubbing experience to youths in an environment
where one is allowed to be free without fear or
consequence.
Liberate yourself from the ranks and files of routine.
Step Forward, Break Free.

Oh Come on, you’ve got to at least try it once.
Grab your friends and come and dance!

TIX GOING AT JUST $18!

The House Rules
1. Entrance will be allowed to partygoers aged 16
years and above by the date, 26 NOVEMBER
2006.
2. ID Checks are mandatory and Identification in
the form of Passport or Identification Cards ONLY.
3. Ticket is inclusive of one free drink.
4. Alcohol will be served to partygoers aged 18
years and above by the date, 26 NOVEMBER
2006.
5. Party Venue: MINISTRY OF SOUND - BLOCK
C, The
Cannery, River Valley Road
6. Smoking in all areas of the Club is strictly
prohibited.

Call MYSELF @ 81392226 or IVAN @ 91125011
for
TICKETS!!

WHAT ARE U WAITING FOR? :D

2006-11-05T03:02:00.000+08:00

haha long awaited update! hoho! :D

anw while i was logging in, just realised after some time dat my login name is actually a name of a vampire! a vampire that i fancied some time back cos he was quite cool haha lol

yup vampire! haha love them my halloween look! haha

yup its really been awhile since i lasted blogged and many stuff came up and about and past...

anw FOR ONE! CHINK IS OVER!

on 3rd Nov 2006 i officially took my LAST, i repeat MY LAST CHINESE PAPER OF MY LIFE!

WoooooOOooTzzz!!!! :D

at least the actual paper was easier than promo paper i think... but my essay is juz screwed... i juz wrote primary sch chinese... die man... no emotion no description total gg

well at least compre still can make it, haha seem like the last minute studying wif raine paid off :D hehe!

haha

well OP2 dry run also over le... well i screwed up like omgggg...... i like got stuck den i juz said "shit!" like yo, in front of everyone... -___-||| totally out of order dat morning so freaking tired and stressed... zzz

telling u, my sleeping cycling for that week was simply screwed, cos i was like trying to do too many things at once, i ended up sleeping at 4 or 5am... den to make up for my sleep loss, i would sleep like until 12noon or later den later hiong and chiong all my work... den by 7 or 8pm i would be too tired again and try and sleep... den after wake up at 1am plus den cannot sleep... zzz sianz man...

ZOMBIFIED TOTALLY FOR DAT WEEK! APOLOGIES IF I WAS TOO KUKU DAT WEEK HAHA!

A*star juz notified me... i have to start "work" on 13th Nov... zzz omg i have to find ways and excuses to tell the proff and my work partner why i need to pon so many days... some for council orientation, prom nite, and some for partyin and chalet! :P LOL GG

dunno la my fren say can take off and leave one... but dunno how far i can push it, since council is also like forcing me literally to go for every event they plan for even though i only good at doing banners and stuff haha

well i've planned out to DO LOADS OF WORK AROUND THE HOUSE, its JUST TOO MESSY! ARGH! and gotta go on diet for a while!

haha cossss..... MONDAE NITE! GOT FOOD TASTING! AT MANDARIN MERITUS! HOHO!

OMG WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS! one of the few motivations for me in council! =x HAHA

2006-10-19T21:03:00.000+08:00

THE CHRONICLES OF WRITTEN REPORT!

rofl... i'm a stupid buffalo

i tell u... todae is really such a challenging day man...

kinda irritating, but oh well good moulding experience ha!

okies i'm still on MC so the lazy me decided to be a happy slacker that has been promoted and stay at home to watch tv and relax...

but den!

*HORROR MUSIC SCREAMS*

tiffany called... asking abt pw... den she passed the phone to MISS YE! yes the diabolic MISS YE! LOL haha... den i got a HORRIFIC WAKE UP CALL!! WR MUST HAND IN TMR! OMG

and guess wad, we had to modify our survey, brochure and bibliography! at first i thought nothing much abt it...

continued to watch tv and play comp... waiting for my PW grp members to come home... den finally tiffany sms me say premila and darshini NOT AT HOME, NOT GOING SCH TMR! cos their at their grandma's place celebrating and doing prayers! lol

next thing! JI HYUN has CHOIR todae! and it ends at 8pm! YES 8 PM! HOLY COWS! and by the time she gets home it would be say 8plus 9pm? or so? haha

and miss ye... instructed me to BIND the WR at my house nearby the bookshops! and i know my house the bookshop closes at 8plus!

LOL which means, ji hyun, premila and darshini cant help out in the finalisation of WR! hohoho!

wad a blast! xD

so after watching Yukikaze and Witch Hunter Robin, i finally decided its time i took action and chiong this stupid nonsense once and for all!

as i was trying to complete up the WR, i realised i needed to modify the survey, so did the survey first... den when i remembered, i needed the brochure, but den tiffany say it isnt ready and ji hyun needs to edit some stuff...

den i was like WAD THE? she needs to edit some stuff?! not ready?! but how can she edit it in time!? PANIC LEVEL ONE!

so nevermind i wait... see how first...

finally completed all i can do in the WR.... printed 1 copy and went to my house downstairs 10min walk to the bookstore and got 2 photocopies! hoho! felt so happy!

decided to self reward myself wif some 7-11 softee ice cream! hoho! :D

when i got home... sat down in front of my comp... stretched a bit and was just abt to start...

tiffany say need to do FEEDBACK FORM for the brochure, and also ji hyun edited some parts of the WR todae in school...

*HORROR MUSIC ONCE MORE*
PANIC LEVEL TWO!

i couldnt believe... i've been made of sport out of by fate... after printing 3 copies of the WR, and to find out parts of it is ALL WRONG!

*bangs head on table* nuuuu....... OH SHIT~~~ OH SHIT~~~

OKKAAYYYY~!!!! FINE!!!

i REDO! hurrr....

so finally the FINAL FINAL FINALE FINALITO! WR is ready... zzz alas...

i printed out wadever i needed and chiong off wif all the documents in a file to the bookstore...

suddenly on the way there... SOMETHING IN MY 6th SENSE TOLD ME SOMETHING!

LOL like some spidey sense huh?! :D

anw... feeling an odd feeling i decided to do a mental run through of the stuff i need....

hmmm...hmmmm.... check check.... hmmmm...

OH SHIT~~~! OH SHIT~~~!! more fergie music!

i left the stupid WR cover page in the question booklet at home... DANG

so... i was like bloody hell... halfway there alr... but had to dreadfully walk back home to retrieve the stupid cover page... it was alr 8.05pm alr... the shop would close any moment!

PANIC LEVEL THREE!

stupid bloody haze... making me really sick and running abt through and fro like dat is really a killer... hard to breathe ok... psi 124...

AND ALAS... I REACH THE FORESAKEN BOOKSTORE!

OMG ITS LIKE SEEING EDEN!

LOL

i got the stuff photocopied and the actual WR binded together and stuff... spent like 5 bucks plus repeatedly photocopying... zzz

den as i was checking through the stuff...

something glaring caught my eye!!!!

Feedback Form for Survey on.....

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FEEDBACK FORM FOR BROCHURE! NOT SURVEY!

ALAMAK... zzz stupid typo...

i tell u... i really stone at the shop... wif the (=__=) face...

so i decided to go home... PRINT OUT 3 copies of the corrected one...

and make the needed amendments... bloody hell... zzz

8.46pm...

i made it! WR is DONE! hohohoho!

PHEW!

collectively, todae i've wasted 50+ pages of white paper due to printing errors, typo errors, mistakes in alignment and wadever stupid rubbish my computer could give me... haha

shall go into meditation or i'll vomit blood soon! LOL haha

by now you must be thinking... wth... chris is really damn stupid rite...

haha lol

oh well cheap laughter for u peeps! :D haha

2006-10-17T02:34:00.000+08:00

after more den 48 hours of hionging... the curtain is finally drawn and i can finally REST AND SLEEP! :D

lol... wad on earth was i thinking?

2 whole days of banner painting and hanging of banner to 8pm... den straight after dat i went DXO wif tiffany n charlene haha!

by the time we got back, hmmm 3am 4am? haha den next thing in the morning straight away SAJC OPEN HOUSE 2006! w00tz!

started my day before open house with a nice morning snack of coffee and FnB croissont! LOVE THEM! YUMMY

crazy la i still go play table tennis, badminton, basketball and soccer! LOOL yes i'm crazy, insane... lol

my body went into overdrive mode haha... really hionging alr... surprisingly the other council peeps were MORE TIRED den i was! haha?! lol? dunno but i see in the morning and late afternoon everyone was like dead tired but i was still kicking, though my hionging has craved its way on my face and appearance... i look damn shagged though i was kinda energetic haha

slowly but surely, i could feel my body starting to crumble... muscles in my arms and legs grew heavy and retarded lol...

BUT STILL AFTER OPEN HOUSE... we played basketball 5 v5 damn hiong la...

mimi loi (our vp) damn good la... he monster kill sia... everyone see him get the ball alr sianz diao... know surely go in one... haha damn funny!

lol anw decided to buy Juan, no not the JC1 Febragon, but Juan the JC2 councillor, ROSES! for her farewell gift! haha looks nice and sweet... sorrie if it seems too budget or wad but i really didnt have time to prepare so sorrieee! lol my 48 hour escapade was a killer both physically, and financially! HOHOHO!

farewell ended off with a light hearted note with brynner and his antics wif JEAN! HAHA and YONG HUI! LOL SAI KANG WARRIORS LONG LIVE! haha damn funny!

after dat day, i spent 12 straight hours doing nothing but sleeping! LOL

surprisingly, but yes haha shhhh nurul :D i lost another 2 kgs! lol hionging is good huh! xD

2006-10-04T00:24:00.000+08:00

Which FF Character Are You?